Have yourself a merry little Samhain
#3 – Samhain:
Well Oíche Shamhna (the eve of Samhain) is now behind us, and, apart from the strange 'Jack O' Lantern incident' (see yesterday's comments), the night passed off without too much intrusion from ghosts, divils, and demons.
Thoughts now turn to the long, dreary, winter ahead…a time to light the fire and curl up around the Playstation. But anyway, on to Samhain itself…take it away, Wikipedia:
Samhain is the word for November in Irish; the Scottish Gaelic name Samhuinn is closely related. The same word was used for the first month of the ancient Celtic calendar, and in particular the first three nights of this month, the festival marking the beginning of the winter season. Elements of the festival are continued in the traditions of All Souls Day and Halloween.1
Those not ready to let go of Halloween just yet need not despair, for there are still opportunities for supernatural shenanigans: "Samhain was a significant time for divination, perhaps even more so than May or Midsummer’s Eve, because this was the chief of the three Spirit Nights."2
My personal favourite act of Samhain-related divination has to be the following, as it simply screams of something deeply ill-advised (at least according to conventional 'Horror Film' logic):
The Apple and the Mirror - Before the stroke of midnight, sit in front of a mirror in a room lit only by one candle or the moon. Go into the silence and ask a question. Cut the apple into nine pieces. With your back to the mirror, eat eight of the pieces, then throw the ninth over your left shoulder. Turn your head to look over the same shoulder, and you will see and in image or symbol in the mirror that will tell you your answer.
(When you look in the mirror, let your focus go "soft," and allow the patterns made by the moon or candlelight and shadows to suggest forms, symbols and other dreamlike images that speak to your intuition.)3
Talk about asking for trouble…if this doesn't suggest itself as the perfect opening for Samhain – The Movie I don't know what does. A group of teens, an apple, an act of divination gone horribly wrong…the thing practically writes itself!
If anyone's willing to have a crack at this foolhardy exercise then please post your findings here…assuming you haven't succumbed to a terror-induced coma…
November 1, 2005
7 responses to Have yourself a merry little Samhain
I probably should have posted this under your urban legends section since i can’t tell whether its bona fide or not. Still, its halloween and this is pretty damn scary…..I told you all to watch out for those ‘badgers’…but you didn’t listen did you!…(from the yorkshire evening post, allegedly)”A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed for 12 months by a judge. Martin Hoyle, 45, was arrested by police after a passing motorist and his girlfriend found a Staffordshire bull terrier, called Badger, having sex with him at the side of a road in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire.
Prosecutor Ben Crosland said the couple had stopped to help because they thought Hoyle was being attacked by the animal. But when they got closer they saw that he had his trousers round his ankles, was down on all fours and the dog was straddling him from behind.
“The defendant mumbled something about the dog having taken a liking to him,” said Mr Crosland. “The couple were extremely offended and sickened by what they saw.” Another passing motorist contacted the police and Hoyle was arrested as he walked with the dog down the road.
Hoyle, of East view, Marsh, Huddersfield, told police “I can’t help it if the dog took a liking to me. He tried to rape me.”
He repeated the ra pe allegation at the police station and added “The dog pulled my trousers down.” Hoyle, who has had a long-standing alcohol problem, was jailed for 12 months after he admitted committing an act which outraged public decency.
His barrister said Hoyle had no memory of the incident because of his drunken state, but was now very remorseful and incredibly embarrassed.
Jailing him, Judge Alistair McCallum told Hoyle “Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway. Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension. It is an absolutely disgusting thing for members of the public to have to witness.
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Whilst performing a search for the elusive and deviant Martin Hoyle i found this equally sickening news article from the BBC (dated 3 apr 2003):
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Now I’m not really a big believer in karma, but….
Ok, so i’ve just noticed the age difference but that’s probably just a typo…. Or his dad.
Well, the initial story either confirms that I’m right to have a fear of dogs, or, that the critters are pretty indiscriminate about who they ‘hump’. Surely ‘Badger’ could have done better than a 45 year old drunk?
Jesus has come out! For PROOF consult the following.
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What is it about natural wood formations and Jesus Christ? I mean, did he look slightly ‘woody’ himself in real life? I know he was a carpenter and all, so perhaps that explains his predilection for appearing on wardrobe/closet doors.
Interesting point re the “woodiness” of Jesus. Strangely, Mother Theresa was Albanian rather than Danish. I suppose that just makes her uncanny appearance in almost every pastry from Jutland even more miraculous.