Comments on: An Arrangement of Balloons

By: FreakyTrigger » Blog Archive » The Bad Facial Description Award

FreakyTrigger » Blog Archive » The Bad Facial Description Award — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 00:43:14 +0000

[…] yes - the bad sex award. All very TITter-worthy and purient, and in many ways deserved : (Fustar takes pains to look at the Giles Coren bit). Nevertheless for all this jocula […]

By: foolhardy

foolhardy — Fri, 09 Dec 2005 10:49:40 +0000

Copernicus the talking ape,
how about Chris O’Rrhoea?
By all accounts he’ll be driving home for christmas.

By: copernicus

copernicus — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 18:22:56 +0000

Yo fustar,

I’ve a tagline for your cycle of taglines

- prising culture from the cold dead fingers of the mad fiddlers of Belmullet.

By: copernicus

copernicus — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 18:19:21 +0000

Foolhardy,
Like the mad fiddlers of Belmullet “I’ll tune me fiddle and I’ll rosin me bow/And I’ll be welcome where e’er I go”

Anyway, you’re a scientician, what other kinds of -orrhoea are there?

By: foolhardy

foolhardy — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 17:08:33 +0000

Mind how you go there copernicus lest you spew something other than verbal jip.

Can anyone else hear a rosinated violin?

By: copernicus

copernicus — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 14:48:53 +0000

Re the portmanteau “Winkler” referred to above. Another term for these linguistic “blends” is, apparently “frankenwords”, a much more appropriate usage in this context.

Astute readers will discern that “frankenword” is itself a portmanteau, or frankenword, which makes me shiver with logorrhoeic delight.

By: copernicus

copernicus — Mon, 05 Dec 2005 19:13:39 +0000

Not only was he delighted with himself, he wished he’d written each and every one of the contesting passages. Something tells me he might well have the diabolic wherewithal to give effect to so monstrous a deed of scrivening.

By: fústar

fústar — Mon, 05 Dec 2005 17:36:09 +0000

Have updated the post with a link to the Guardian’s report on his victory. Apparently he was delighted with himself.

By: foolhardy

foolhardy — Sat, 03 Dec 2005 09:50:56 +0000

spunktastic!

By: copernicus

copernicus — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 19:48:51 +0000

We have a winner kids.

Mr. Coren gets to rattle his jumping dick on our collective teeth and Zorro us with victory jizz.

By: fústar

fústar — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 13:18:31 +0000

Ah yes foolhardy, the great eye that is ever watchful (especially when dirty fumblings are afoot) and the fiddling fingers of mad fiddlers (read “Christian Brothers”) are familiar themes in much Irish writing.

In your prose however they become almost painfully evocative…as painful as spurting in one’s own eye.

By: copernicus

copernicus — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 12:20:03 +0000

Interesting article here - [Link]

By: copernicus

copernicus — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 11:30:54 +0000

I presume the universities are clamouring to add Foolhardy’s manuscripts to their archives. Posterity might well not have known of this first stirring of the muse in his breast.

Speaking of breasts…

By: foolhardy

foolhardy — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 10:54:03 +0000

Lads (and ladies), with all these references to my literal past being flung hither and yon I have noticed a single tear balance itself atop my solitary, stalk-mounted, bulb embedded eye and a yearning in my loins for the chance to re-enact my youth. As a special treat I have gone to great lengths to dig out an excerpt from what would (Nay! SHOULD) have been my first novel, had anyone proven wise enough to deem it fit for human consumption.

Alas, it was never meant to be and instead I experienced disappointment akin to that felt (many years later) following my first (non-self administered) hand shandy (”give it here!”) and vowed to spite the bean counters at publishing houses across the land by never having it committed to print. Please note that I was but the tender age of 6 (and a half) so my prose style was underdeveloped although undoubtedly direct (my high-infants teacher certainly thought so - as did the myriad of social workers familiar with my case). Here goes:

“I woked up this morning and found my willy had gone all funny. I showed it to my Mammy but she only told me to put it away before the neighbours saw it. The neighbours were in the kitchen at the time and did see it. They told me it was dirty. I didn’t want to be dirty. I went to the bathroom and washed it and washed it. Then I made a wee, a white one”.

The working title was: “Santy, bring me a clean toodly”.

The eye theme and, especially, that of the fiddling fingers only began to appear after many years of Catholic education.

By: copernicus

copernicus — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 01:09:05 +0000

That was Jayne Mansfield, but what about Col. John Glenn visiting Limerick to keep locals abreast of developments in the space race?!