Posted by fústar in 
Thoroughly intriguing story in yesterday's Guardian about a Mr. Barney Broom (of Gunthorpe, north Norfolk) discovering…well…what can best be described as a pickled model of a baby 'grey alien' in his loft. Yikes!
Mr. Broom was in the process of renovating the cottage he bought eight months ago when the bizarre discovery was made:
It was stuffed in the corner of the loft with other old newspapers. Before me, an old spinster lived in the house. I don't think anybody had been up there for years. I haven't got three heads and I'm not the sort of eccentric lunatic to think it's an alien but it's a funny thing to find in your loft.
Describing it as merely "a funny thing to find in your loft" is, in fairness, a hilariously restrained way of putting it.
The article continues:
The delicate 30cm (12 inch) figure of a baby alien is stored in a pungent liquid and has a US serial number painted on its four-toed foot. Possibly sculpted from a clay-like substance and painted grey, the model closely resembles the aliens depicted in a hoax film of an autopsy of the infamous "Roswell incident".
Curiously, the alien was discovered stored in an old toffee jar wrapped in a copy of the Daily Mirror dating from October 1947. In July of that year, officials at the American air base of Roswell reported and then denied finding the remains of a flying saucer. The Roswell incident sparked a popular fascination with UFOs and led the US air force to collect data on sightings
1947 is, of course, not only famous (among ufologists) for the 'Roswell Incident', but it was also the year of Kenneth Arnold's seminal sighting of 'Flying Saucers' near Mount Rainier, Washington. The fact that the paper is dated thus seems a tad too convenient, as anyone with even a passing interest in the area would immediately register the date's significance.
In addition, though the 'grey alien' has now become by far the most iconic and easily recognised representation of extraterrestrials, 'greys' don't seem to have featured in UFO lore untill at least the mid-1960s:
Martin Kottmeyer claims that the origin of the contemporary appearance of Greys comes from the mask of the Bifrost alien (designed by Wah Ming Chang) from the "Bellero Shield" episode of the 1960s sci-fi TV-series "The Outer Limits". Not long after the episode's debut on February 10, 1964, according to the contactee reports, Greys seemed to suddenly acquire most of their characteristic features.1
After that, the combined forces of Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Whitley Streiber, and (of course) The X-Files, conspired (ho ho) to ensure that greys enjoy their current cultural dominance.
The fact that Mr. Broom's house is a mere "45 miles from two large US air bases at RAF Lakenheath and RAF Mildenhall", and that, "Many US servicemen and women live and work in the region", may be interpreted as significant by some…but it's still hard to know what to make of the discovery.
If the object does indeed date back to 1947, then it demonstrates (at the very least) that the 'grey alien' image was doing the rounds long before it gained widespread recognition. Of course, if it's a more recent hoax then it suggests that the hoaxer may have been unaware that greys are of a more contemporary vintage, and that they simply settled on 1947 as an evocative date. Either that or they were fully aware that a 1947 grey would appear anachronistic and cleverly anticipated that this 'double bluff' would, in fact, make the object seem more credible!
Anyway, the Guardian managed to get a terse "It's a hoax" out of "a spokeswoman for the US air force", a statement which, of course, will serve only to convince the more 'paranoid' UFO-fans out there that there's far more to this than meets the eye….
I don’t know which part I like more – the story itself or the fact that yer man’s name is ‘Barney Broom’.
Yes indeed. A fairly apt name for someone with a fondness for cleaning out attics.
Anyway, the plot thickens. It appears that our Mr. Broom is a film-maker who (as his website tells us) “has written and directed numerous films for the Ministry of Defence”.
There’s a fustar.org exclusive for you. Can’t believe the Guardian didn’t pick up on this (they only described him as a ’screenwriter’)…particularly given the ‘prop-like’ appearance of the object in question.
Curiouser and Curiouser…
Edit: The BBC did mention Mr. Broom’s job, but failed to mention the tasty Ministry of Defence Connection -
According to Prof. Roberts, expert at large:
That is the US air force line. They deny these alien encounters. It is quite possible they concoct stories to cover up for more nefarious activities.
Exactly.
Possibly sculpted from a clay-like substance and painted grey
I think not. Alien flesh is a much more convincing explanation.
Must say, I like the guardian’s picture of barney with his jar.
For my money the thing is real. Granted, I’m broke.
Upon reading the story I bounded towards the attic in search of my remaining 12 minutes (I featured on Garda Patrol a few years back, wasting 3). Among the booty up there was a bottle containing what appears to be the sailing vessel of a mysterious miniature alien race. I also found an old bag of cement in the garage. Any budding journalists out there wanting to make a name for themselves should give me a shout – you can forget about it though if you work for the Connacht Tribune; I’m a Connaught “Mayo done it again” Telegraph man born and reared.
Foolhardy’s comment contains within it the seeds of a champion post – one on the names of local Irish papers.
Some of my current favourites;
The Connacht Sentinel!
The County Down Spectator!
The Finn Valley Voice!
The Dungarvan Observer and Munster Industrial Advocate!
The Nenagh Guardian!
The Impartial Reporter and Farmers Journal!
and the ever watchful…
Skibereen Eagle!
Copernicus,
how right you are although I think a list of articles/gaffes found therein would be of greater anthropological interest – think “Ireland’s funniest local newspapers”.
A trio of Connaught Telegraph classics immediately spring to mind:
1: the aforementioned “Mayo done it again”. In reference to some victory or other perpetrated by the senior football team. The key word here is “again”!?
2: “The Connaught Telegraph – Be Just and Fair Not”. This I spotted on a complementary pen thus proving the old adage.
And finally my favourite.
3: The following appeared as the headline for a feature on the scourge of anglers; the midge. “And The Midgets Were Waiting For Me!” Throughout the article the correspondent warns the reader of the hazards awaiting one should they come too close to a cluster of midgets – it seems they have a propensity to swarm and are fond of biting ankles.
Well, leaving aside hilarious regional paper names, and midge/midget confusion (an easy mistake to make), I was just thinking that Mr. Broom stands to make a small fortune if he decides to put the item on ebay (as opposed to his mantelpiece).
If ghosts in bottles go for thousands, you’d expect a fair return for a pickled alien.
More on the topic of extraterrestrial goings on in today’s Guardian:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,1714202,00.html
It’s official, “greys” do not exist!
That’s according to those reliable chaps in the British government at any rate.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/4981720.stm
I found the reference to the “Flying Saucer Working Party” quite intriguing. Socialism is apparently alive and well in the cosmos.
more of the same here:
guardian.co.uk
guardian.co.uk at even more today
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