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Link Roads and Custard Pies

Though I rarely write about matters (overtly) political, and tend to leave the local reporting to "squid" et al, I couldn't let an image from today's Limerick Post go uncommented on.

While sitting on the U.L. bus this morning, and browsing through the Post, I chanced upon what struck me as a rather curious image (bear in mind I was half-awake and slightly hung over). There was my old primary school "The Model" (An Mhodhscoil) in all its imposing, grey-stoned glory. There, also, was a grinning Willie O'Dea (whom we've met before) squatting in front of it. To Willie's right was a small child dressed as Mario (sporting a plastic gun). To his left was George Hook with a large custard pie.

I goggled, possibly muttered "What the fuck?!", and showed it to Jess. Here's what she/we saw:

Wille O\'Dea Model School

Closer inspection, of course, revealed that only Willie was what he appeared to be. "Mario" is actually "Bob the Builder", while his "gun" appears to be a drill (I think). "George Hook" turns out to be none other than Diarmuid Ó Murchú (the school's principal), while his "pie" is a (still amusing) giant, novelty-sized 1 Euro coin. All a bit of a let-down really.

On the plus side the paper featured another photo that reduced us to hysterics. It is both delightfully bland (in a "Local Councillor Unveils Park Bench" kind of way) and unnervingly sinister ("Phantom Businessman Stalks Local Bypass").

Kieran Walshe

As devoted Post readers will no doubt realise, the adjoining story concerns the May opening of the Corbally link road. The strange, spectral figure is Cllr. Kieran Walshe who (you'll be relieved to hear) reassures us that the planned road widening should only affect "a small portion of the grass verge that is not generally used by pedestrians".

One less thing for us all to worry about I'm sure you'll agree.

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icon 00.0 Comments on this post

12 Responses to “Link Roads and Custard Pies”

  1. Bock the Robber says:

    All right then, perhaps Willies is real. If so, what is that thing emitting smoke from the top of his head?

  2. fústar says:

    …what is that thing emitting smoke from the top of his head?

    Er…think it’s just Wilbert’s fly-away hair. He uses Timotei.

    Answer me this though, where does one get these giant 1 Euro coins? I mean, if you needed one in a hurry, who would you turn to? The Joke Shop in Mallow St?

  3. Simon McGarr says:

    What giant 1 Euro coin? I’ve seen Willie O’Dea.

    That coin is standard size.

  4. fústar says:

    Honestly, the more I look at these two pics the more I love ‘em. They’re both perfect examples of the eccentric choices local newspaper photographers often make.

    When I got my photo taken for the Leader (after last year’s blog awards) the photographer insisted on taking shots from the “worm’s eye view” (”give everyone a double chin”) angle. He was practically lying on the floor, while I did my best not to look smug - no easy thing when you’re (literally) looking down on someone.

    I can just imagine the instructions given to Cllr. Walshe in the second pic:

    Eh, right Kieran. Could you go over there and stand on that small portion of grass verge?

    Which portion of grass verge would that be? The portion of grass verge that is not generally used by pedestrians?

    Eh, yeah. That’s the one. I’ll be on the other side of the road about 60 yards away. If you could just put your left hand in your pocket and try to look odd and extremely tall that’d be great.

    Grand so.

  5. Zoidberg says:

    Is it my imagination or does Cllr. Kieran Walshe look like a cardboard cut-out? His head also seems disturbingly disproportionate to the rest of his body!

    I seem to recall that a former lord Mayor of Limerick, who name escapes me now (if I in fact ever knew it in the first place), also looked as if he was composed of cardboard when he would feature in the Post.

    Perhaps the Post has effigies of many local ‘celebrities’ on hand for such photo opportunities.

  6. foolhardy says:

    Not entirely relevant but…..

    http://velocity.ansto.gov.au/velocity/ans0011/article_06.asp

  7. Bock the Robber says:

    The Walshe effigy is obviously cardboard. You can see the way it’s leaning over in the wind.

    However, it will never appear in a Council chamber, being too articulate and over-educated for the job.

  8. fústar says:

    Bock/Zoidberg,

    The cardboard councillor/mayor phenomenon is, indeed, nothing new. The name of the cardboard mayor whom Zoidberg mentions is unknown to me, but I well recall his impossible trick of appearing at several different events on the same day and at the same time.

    The only logical answer is that he was employing cardboard doppelgangers.

    Even Padre Pio could only master the ability to bi-locate

  9. iamusic says:

    This picture of councillor walsh is positively vile but also hilarious. Why do they do that to themselves? I know they probably don’t want to look stupid and it’s, as you said, the photographers who make them pose like this. But at the same time he cold have at least worn a suit that fits him. For once.

  10. fústar says:

    I don’t know. The suit has got a kind of 1950s quality to it. High waist line, Wide leg tapered to the ankle. Think Cary Grant in North by Northwest…if he were standing by a link road in Corbally.

  11. Bob says:

    That dude looks like the lamposts in the background

  12. fústar says:

    Perhaps you’ve solved the mystery. He’s a shape-shifting lamppost…from the future. The reason he looks a bit cardboard is that he hasn’t fully mastered the human form yet. Also, he’s rooted to a particular spot, as most lampposts tend to be. Something of a handicap when your goal is world domination (as, presumably, it is).

    There’s a comic in there, Bob. The thing practically writes and draws itself.

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