Cloisim an tiún, is tú mo rún
Writing in Village (Feb 22nd, 2007) John Waters described how "hurtful and confusing" he'd found it when Joe Duffy read out (o'er the radio) Waters' lyrics for Ireland's Eurovision entry and "lined up a couple of cornerboys to slag them off."
While I part company with Mr. Waters on just about everything else he says, I couldn't help but feel some sympathy for his view that "without its melody, backing, arrangement and phrasing, a lyric is a naked thing, utterly devoid of its emotional content and context." Anyone who's ever rolled their eyes at ludicrous, pseudo-academic debates like "Is Dylan as good as Keats?", will probably admit that there’s a good dollop of truth buried in Waters' wounded complaints.
Having said all that, and acknowledging that I too pitched in with the cheap digs, Waters' words still stink to high heaven, even when reunited (through Dervish's performance) with their "emotional content and context". They did not, of course, stink much more badly than many (or any) of the lyrics on show in Helsinki tonight, but given Ireland's rock bottom placement (24th out of 24) it seems, to paraphrase the rats from Fraggle Rock, that "The Cornerboys have spoken".
Given that Ireland were only saved the ignominy of a nil pois catastrophe by the kindly (5 point) intervention of our loyal Celtic brothers Albania, it's reasonably likely that Mr. Waters is even now putting pen to paper, furiously criticising the canny "political" voting of Eastern Europe's pop lovers. If he's cross and cranky, he's not alone.
A quick glance at the BBC News "Have Your Say" pages reveals a mass outpouring of outrage and indignation (after the UK entry joined us in the competition's basement). A sample entry from one Peter Millar:
It's true, they are happy to come here and suck our government dry of it's money but deep down they don't like us. the whole shows is Political, Political voting, If your country isn't from the east your stuffed.
Pete's use of expressions like "suck our government dry" (Damn those Eastern Vampires!) should lead to lucrative job offers from the Mail or the Express. The reply from Marko (Chapel Hill) was, I thought, rather amusing:
And as for the Balkans – it seems those people can't do much right. They are either condemned for their "barbarous" wars or reprimanded for expressing a spirit of solidarity when voting for each other.
As for Ireland – our second relegation in three years confirms our status as 21st Century Eurovision no-hopers. With apologies to Bjorge Lillelien:
Dana! Johnny Logan! Johnny Logan again! Linda Martin! Niamh Kavanagh! Paul Harrington & Charlie McGettigan! Eimear Quinn – can you hear me, Eimear Quinn! Your boys took one hell of a beating! Your boys took one hell of a beating!
Winning this bizarre competition is (of course) no guarantee of quality ("Why Me?" was hideous, big-haired gack). Likewise, there have been many noble failures. Take the following two gems for example: Muriel Day and The Lindsays' (Burt Bacharach-tastic) "The Wages of Love" (7th in 1969)…
…and Sandie Jones' brave and magical stab at mellifluous Irish-language pop, "Ceol an ghrá" (15th in 1972):
Even "cornerboys" couldn't fail to be seduced by such loveliness.
Postscript 15/05/07
Just realised I forgot to mention one of the undoubted highlights of the night.
As Serbia's Marija Šerifović milked the audience applause at the front of the stage, who should appear behind her, wielding the mighty Eurovision trophy over his head, but Santa Claus ("Finland's most famous man"…apparently). Realising that Ms. Šerifović had failed to notice his presence, Mr. Claus advanced menacingly while booming:
I will follow you…TO THE END!
This was old-school St. Nicholas at this best: not the jovial chap with the twinkly eyes or the merry dimples, but the zero tolerance child-judger (the one who pals around with the demonic Krampus). If I'd been Ms. Šerifović, I'd have fled the stage shrieking.
[tags]Eurovision, Helsinki, John Waters, Dervish, Muriel Day, Sandie Jones[/tags]
May 13, 2007
10 responses to Cloisim an tiún, is tú mo rún
Quite an achievement to finish last out of such an array of awesome musical talent.
Perhaps getting someone who doesn’t sound like a banshee with her flaps caught in a mousetrap to sing the song might, in hindsight, have been a good idea.
Being Mr. Devil’s Advocate guy for a second, I actually thought Dervish’s extreme lack of polish was reasonably refreshing (even if the song was garbage).
Their incongruity, in a sea of scrubbed, plucked, tanned and bland mediocrity was somehow…er…almost heroic!
They’d have done better if they’d got Shirley Temple Bar to sing it.
Or another drag queen like Anne Doyle.
That I endured the Eurovision Song Contest until the Irish entry which mercifully was only the third or fourth to be performed probably indicates that I have masochistic tendencies, but after that I could take no more. The Irish act was awful – I suppose the only consolation was that John Waters’ pretentious lyrics could not be heard because the young woman who sang the song swallowed them. Presumably, her Bo-Peep outfit, the bodhran and the chaps prancing about with tin whistles were meant to give it an Oirish folksy character, possibly so as to dispel any idea of Sufi mysticism suggested by the name Dervish… What I do not understand is that someone like Waters, who often attempts to affect an Olympian persona would want to have anything to do with something as naff as the Eurovision Song contest.
The British trolley dolly act which I saw on TV a few weeks ago was also embarrassing to watch, but at least there was probably a touch of irony there…
Yes, Twenty Major, I agree that Shirley Temple Bar would have been the best one to sing it!
Well Water’s reaction hasn’t been so bad – This is from the RTE website ‘In his column, Mr Waters dismisses the conspiracy theory of voting pacts and suggests that emerging patterns of voting are less about tribal affinity than cultural, as in musical, recognition.
He suggests that the ‘taste gap between East and West can be addressed in one of only two ways: radical introversion or a more enthusiastic opening up to the new.’ He favours the latter.’
I think Ireland’s next entry should be decided in the blogosphere.
The tone of the Waters article suggested a man humbled, perplexed but (in fairness) not indignant. I read it twice and apart from the reasonably clear point RE: emerging & coherent “East European” pop sensibilities (mentioned above by Conortje) I found it rather confused and confusing.
It struck me that JW felt mugged, was in mild shock, and was trying to hastily reflect on the incident to meet a tight deadline. Whatever the reason, his explanations/excuses felt a bit forced and muddled to me.
Colm, I’m all for the suggestion, if only to see the anti-geek headlines when Ireland suffers another (inevitable) Eurovision kick in the nuts: “Europe Says ‘Blog off!’ to Nerds” etc.
What competition did John Waters think he was entering?
Has he lived all his life in some parallel existence where the Eurovision is actually any good?
He knew he was entering a ridiculous freak show, which it has always been, and something not to be taken seriously. Come on – last year, the Klingons won it.
That JW believed it was a real competition tells us how connected he is with reality, but hold on. Isn’t this the guy who used to live with Sinead O Connor?
Oh, well then. QED.
I know that this sounds awfully nerdy, but I have learned from a discussion elsewhere on the web that ‘archipelagic icicles’ has generated the mondegreen ‘Arthur pedals bicycles’! And if you don’t know what a mondegreen is do a google search…