Posted by fústar in 
Since last I added a post to this blog (on the festive subject of hideous deformity) I've done a fair bit of running (5 miles, for Charity) and a small amount of sitting around in airports. A good deal of the latter took place in the departure "lounge" of Shannon airport – a dreary, soul-sapping and US soldier-filled space, long forsaken by the many gods.
Attempts to liven up or beautify this giant waiting room are very much of the half-hearted variety. A limp potted plant here. Some obscure early-90s video games there.
Adding to (rather than subtracting from) the general air of faded 60s/70s gloom is the area's centre piece – as insipid a piece of corporate/public art as one could wish not to see:
While the tiled base and gold trimmings may leave the aesthetically-sensitive traveller reeling (and reaching for a lavender-soaked handkerchief), the ludicrous red-roping-off is what really delivers the knock-out punch.
But there's more.
Just as the floored and distraught aesthete recovers his/her senses, and begins to haul him/herself back onto trembling hands and knees, a small gold plate at the piece's base comes slowly into focus:
Though instinct may advise you to rub your disbelieving eyes (before casting aside bottles of intoxicating liquor) allow me to confirm that the above does indeed read "The Spirit of Duty Free".
Given that nobody (apart from, or perhaps including, the artist herself) has ever, even idly, pondered what form the spirit of duty free might actually take, it's hard to judge whether or not the piece accurately captures airport shopping's elusive qualities. All I can offer, by way of critique, is to confirm that it made me laugh, it made me feel like crying, and (like a giant, duty-free Toblerone) it nearly made me sick.
On the subject of laughter, I should point out that "The Spirit of Duty Free" actually gives a (presumably unintentional) nod to the sublime Phil Silvers Show. In "Bilko the Art Lover" we meet Carylye Thompson III 1 – struggling artist and heir to the Thompson Shipping fortune, who finds himself feuding with his industrialist father. Da wants him to move into the family business. Carlyle dreams of sticking it to the (old) man by swinging with the bohemian set. Cue a "you'll not get a penny from me m'boy"-type falling out which Bilko must cunningly try and resolve (for his own selfish reasons of course).
After finagling his way into a company meeting (by impersonating a branch manager) Bilko manages to persuade the elder Thompson to purchase an unseen (but hyped up) piece of sculpture for the new corporate HQ. Cut to the unveiling of what Thompson Sr. imagines to be a monumental and iconic work. The curtain falls to reveal…a small, unlovely and unloved abstract figure that the father knows only too well – his son's "Woman with Grapes", a piece that convinced him of the young lad's mediocrity as an artist.
Realising that the joke's on him, and mindful of the delighted gasps of one and all, the father welcomes the boy back with open arms, promising to be an enthusiastic supporter and patron of young Caryle's art. And how did Bilko manage to sell the hard-nosed father on the idea of a corporate sculpture? He simply renamed it, giving it a title designed to stir feelings in cold industrialist hearts – "The Spirit of Transportation".
Did a similar concatenation of events lead to the purchase and installation of "The Spirit of Duty Free"? We can but wonder. Somehow I doubt the circumstances were as funny.
P.S: As a "last minute" Christmas gift idea I very heartily recommend Sgt. Bilko: The Phil Silvers Show – 50th Anniversary Edition Box Set which I saw on sale in HMV at the giving-it-away price of €19.95 (or thereabouts). 3 discs of beautifully crafted, impeccably performed comedy that no Irish home should be without. Especially considering the shit currently on TV.
- A very young Alan Alda. [back]
