To Whom it Concerns…It’s The Manky Toy Show (Live)!

|

9.00 – Hup! Hup! Quiet down now.

Welcome dear friends, lads and lassies, boys and girls, mices and meeses, to the first ever fustar.info Manky Toy Show. We have a great live program (un)prepared for you tonight. Music, mirth, merriment and (most importantly) Manky Toys.

Unlike our Late Late cousin there'll be none of the chipper, "up-with-people-ness" of the Billy Barry Brats, and no selling out (like big corpo-whores) to "the man". Everything seen here cost 2 Euros or less and neither Mattel nor Hasbro has greased my palm with silver (even though the night is young and I remain open to offers).

Let us begin and get ourselves in the mood with some music. Two unlikely neighbours. One olde Englishe castle. An absent Sir Percival.

9.04 – Is it just me or does Bowie carry this air of coiled menace ("Sir Percival let's me use his piano when he's away")?! Bing looks quite vulnerable in that cardigan. Speaking of which, that's what I'm wearing for the occasion tonight. And I've got a dog, a log fire, a pipe, and another dog (actually 2 cats).

9.06 – On to the first toy. It's a delightful slice of poor-man's Lego, simply called "Navvy". Jess (my lovely assistant) is opening the box now.

Navvy

9.09 – She's busily putting it together so we'll leave her to it for a few moments. Can I draw your attention to the following disclaimer on the back of the box?

Specifications, colours and contents may vary from illustrations.

And contents?! That's not exactly confidence-inspiring. First glance suggests it appears fairly close to the depiction on the box however. By that I mean the box doesn't contain jelly babies…or coal.

9.15 – She's struggling with the wheels, which nattily have the legend "Jun Long Toys" inscribed on them. One wonders what "Lego purist" Bob Byrne would make of "Navvy". He's about 5 times the size of a conventional Lego man and rather robust (Navvy that is…not Bob).

9.19 – Toy completed. It's huge and, in Jess's words, "Not manky, though slightly delicate". The steering wheel turns, the knob to lift the shovel yoke goes up and down, Navvy's pedestal/cabin spins around. "Jun Long Toys" have come up with a winner here. A toy so not-manky it would make a genuinely generous gift. How disappointing…

Only thing that marks it as a 2 Euro special is a non-detachable baseball cap (not pictured on the box, as warned) and that Navvy's "freckles" look distinctly unhealthy. More like the pox of the chicken.

9.25 – Hoorah! We have at least one audience member. The lovely Simon McGarr, loyally joining in "from far away through the magic of N800 and phone internet connection".

9.29 – Half an hour in and time for the first word from one of our sponsors. Check it out. Toys every hip, 2007 youngster will want in his/her stocking.

9.33 – From the days when toy advertising was…surprisingly pedestrian. The Neanderthal baddie just stood there waiting for the Action Copter to grab him. And what about the "Sea Wolf"?

The action team submarine that actually dives and surfaces.

By diving it seems to mean sinking slowly to the bottom in an uncontrolled manner. It nearly crushed an innocent (and alarmed) Goldfish for Christ's sake.

"Bullet Man" is, surely, one of the worst ever additions to the Action Man universe. A "hero" with but one ability – sliding down a piece of twine until he lands head first on the ground. Go Bullet Man!!

9.39 – We're back and moving on to toy number two. And what a "number two" it is.

Spiderman Phone

This one will have the kiddies excirah and delirah I'm sure. It's the "Spider-Man Telephone". Actually a stiff plastic figure that looks (in Jess's words) like a small boy wearing an ill-fitting Spider-Man outfit. The box warrants a bit of close scrutiny. In the top right corner is, for no particular reason, the "Baby face in the sun" thing from Teletubbies. Half-way down we see a picture of a prone Spidey with a light shining from a cavity in his skull. The legend proclaims:

Nighttime a bankable actor Electric torch use.

Nice and clear. Next pic shows Spidey walking and promises, "Feet can sway". We've tried, and they can't.

9.49 – I've cheated a bit with this one. He needed 2 (non-included) batteries so I had to do a bit of "one I made earlier" stuff. This included a natty video, which showcases the weird (and very loud) things that happen when you try and call your mother for a chat.

9.53 – Unlike "Navvy" (who does what he says on the tin) this is a deeply confusing and upsetting toy. Some odd singing, a dog barking, a lingo I can't make head nor tail off. Plus, as Jess notes, by using Spidey to make a phone call you can't avoid speaking into his crotch. Whether that's a plus or a minus is, I suppose, down to your own tastes and predilections. The torch is pretty nifty though. Nighttime a bankable actor indeed.

9.58Simon may be on to something here:

As regards the packaging- “Nighttime a bankable actor Electric torch use?- this is the kind of secret code that would-be spidermen with buttons inset to their torsos should be able to crack in mere minutes.

That'll have me awake all night…

10.00 – One hour gone. Time to pour myself a soothing glass of Cote de Nuits-Villages (1999). If I were pushed to describe it I'd say it was robust, full-bodied, red, wet and…er…tasty. The blurb on the back of the bottle is somewhat more fanciful and flowery:

To taste our wines is like living through a dream, like listening to a poem, or perhaps a symphony.

Yup. Like I said. Red and wet.

10.10 – And now, methinks, another ad break. Prepare to enjoy the mendacity-tastic adventures of everyone's favourite recently-deceased daredevil:

10.16 – It's hard not to weep bitter tears when you see some of the impossible carry-on Evil was only ever able to achieve in ads. My Evil tended to rocket out of the blocks before veering wildly into a wall, or (simply) falling over. That said, the gruesome looking crash he suffers right at the end of the first advertisement adds an unexpectedly disturbing note to proceedings. Six months in traction at the very least I'd say.

The third segment is a bit more modest in its claims, given that one of Evil's "super abilities" is the ability to "drive straight". Wow!

10.23 – I think we could well be heading for overtime at this rate. Anyway, moving slowly on to our next offering. With a scarcity of Wiis doing the rounds this Christmas it might be time to consider the charms of "PolyBlock One" – "BSC Bloch System Controller With DFE Double Flash Effect" (as the box proudly, and unhelpfully, declares).

PolyBlock

10.27 – Jess is ripping the box to shreds. It's out, and…there are no bloody batteries included. This despite it listing 2AA Batteries among its features. Bah! Hang on…we'll tear them out of the Spidey phone.

10.32 – Ok we're off. There are some bleeping sounds, some blocky shapes that look like antibodies, I'm trying to figure out which buttons to press. Shit! "Game Over"!

10.34 – Right. This is beginning to look like outright fraud! The "PolyBlock One" (no relation to a product from Sony) seems to be designed to bamboozle you with beeps, randomly shifting squares, and buttons that say things like "rotate" and "sound". I've been playing video games since I was a pale, short-trousered youth and I've no fucking idea what's going on! Listen to the instructions…

4. Rotate – Rotate the falling element/game select.
5. Down/Game – For each kinds of game select different number forward.
8. Move the Dragon Upward.

What element? What Dragon?? All I see are squares that fail to respond to my frantic button mashing. Then, 2 seconds later, "Game Over".

22.40 – Hold everything. Jess has just declared, "I think I'm getting the hang of this. You have to shoot things using the rotate button". My brain hurts.

10.44 – Folks, we could be looking at the mankiest toy this blog has ever come into contact with. It's reach so far exceeds its grasp that it's like a burst and leaking Stretch Armstrong. Every time I look at "Feature. 1″ on the back of the box I feel the red mist rising.

1. Lots of exciting game in it.

The disclaimer should read, "If you can find it". Jess says she "saw a Tetris-style game briefly" but that she "doesn't know what happened to it" or how she found it. "PolyBlock One", it seems, is all about the (deeply frustrating) quest.

10.52 – To lift our spirits we're dipping into the Cote de Nuits-Villages again (not much left) and giving us all a brief musical interlude. I love Judy Garland as much as any straight man ever did and Meet Me in St. Louis is a fave of mine. It has "lots of exciting song in it".

10.59 – Shortly after that song finishes Tootie (Margaret O'Brien) runs into the yard and violently destroys the snowmen in one of the best bits of wild child anger ever seen on screen. Gwan Tootie!

11.02 – Well, we're into time added on for wrist/finger typing injuries. No matter, there's still a drop or two of vino left. Plus, Jess has brought me up a luverly packet of Salt & Pepper Tuc to keep me going. Let's press on…

Time to whip out a gender-inscribed one for the girls. All pink 'n' flowery:

Disco Diva

11.09 – Ah "Disco Diva" – a toy straight from the Bratz school of giant-eyed fashionista sassiness. A small (but important) warning on the bottom of the box reads:

Please note: CD Discs do not function or play different tunes.

Hmmm. Putting this to the test.

11.16 – The three plastic discs included read "Pop, "Rock & "Disco" but they all sound like brutal hard-core techno. Driving rhythms and hard, savage edges that call to mind moments from Lost Highway. Concerned parents should note that the "Mini CD Player" is pink and friendly with a handbag style strap – so there's a "little princess" air of softness to offset the manic doom noise of the CDs.

It should also be noted that the "buttons" (stop, play, repeat etc) are merely stickers that (like the "CDs") don't actually do anything. There is but one purple switch that makes things happen and allows nervous girls to cycle through the 3 disturbing tunes.

11.26 – Christ, look at the time. I need to empty my bladder. Cut to commercial.

11.32 – Last glass of booze. A wave of tiredness and (hic) tipsiness is beginning to wash over me. Can't neglect to mention the above though…

Simon Says come chase after me,
Repeat my lights seq-uent-iii-ally!

Time to take our hats off to what must surely be the only ever use of the word "sequentially" in a toy jingle. Actually, "Repeat my lights sequentially" sounds suspiciously like the kind of mangled English instructions one routinely finds on Manky Toy packets. It may even be on the "PolyBlock One" Box.

I was always rubbish at Simon Says. Once it really got cooking I'd start sweating and panicking and fall at the first hurdle. It was like something they'd sit around playing in Star Trek: The Next Generation. Games of the future are always bleepy, upsetting and confusing.

11.43 – And so we move on to the final toy of the evening. A truly disgusting blob of goo submitted by my darling wife. Behold "Puppy Squeezer":

Puppy Squeezer

11.47 – Keen eyes may notice that, in Alan Partridge's immortal words, there is "superficial damage to the box". That is to say, it's completely covered in Sellotape. As a result Jess, being mindful of her rights as a consumer, had the brazen cheek to ask for a discount. The o'erworked till operator looked at her with a mixture of weariness and disgust. No discount was forthcoming.

It's difficult to describe how horrible "Puppy Squeezer" is to the touch. It pulses, it oozes, it reminds one not only of canine putrescence but one's own inevitable descent into rot and deliquescence. It's like Stretch Armstrong's zombie dog companion.

12.00 – 3 hours in! Jays fluid! "Copernicus" has just posted a grim warning of the dangers posed by the hideous likes of "Puppy Squeezer":

I was in the two euro shop recently browsing the PS Onealike when I suddenly started back from the display at a sudden clammy, moist yet unwet sensation rapidly overwhelming my epiduris.

One of those packets of goo had come apart – or been deliberately booby-trapped by a passing child – and the hideous, ectoplasmic ooze was slathering over my flesh.

He thunked he was having "a visitation from Madame Blavatsky", she who always gifted jars of putrid ectoplasm to Yeats, Crowley et al for Christmas. Perhaps there is some occult conspiracy behind the gurning puppy. I've seen Halloween 3. I know what can happen!

12.06 – Fergal notes, "I always wondered what class of goo was used inside these things". I draw his attention to the rear of the box.

Caution! Contents may stain some fabrics.

Or…"Contents may dissolve flesh/Melt your soul".

12.10 – One final word from our insistent sponsors before we wrap up, put on our night caps, and sail for the shores of nod.

12.12 – 2 questions.

1) When did Ms. Pac Man become Bette Midler?

2) Does she actually sing (at the end) "Hey, don't ya know? I'm only Pac Man with a bow!!"

If (2) is true then it's an admirable bit of honesty from Atari. She had a beauty spot too though…so it was a markedly district sequel.

12.21 – I've squeezed my last puppy and blocked my final poly. There's an empty bottle beside me and "Navvy" looks like he's fit for the bed (after another back-breaking shift). Chatter and raiméis can continue in the comment room, but for now it's good night from me and it's good night from them.

And remember…nighttime is a bankable actor.

finis

The Manky Toy Show – A Postscript – 28/12/2007

Last night, as Jess and I were working our way through Harold Lloyd and Sopranos box-sets, our whole road was suddenly plunged into darkness. After lighting a few candles I remembered that I had a wind-up torch (somewhere) among my possessions. Finding it would, however, require another torch to light my way (I have a similar problem when I misplace my glasses). As we sat in the gloom wondering what to do Jess exclaimed "The Spider-Man Phone!"

Off I trudged upstairs, thinking that even the mankiest toy has its day to (literally) shine. Down I bring Spidey, take 2 AAs out of the DVD remote, crank him up and…his arm snapped straight off…his head gave out no light.

Nighttime, I'm afraid to say, was no bankable actor.

December 23, 2007

68 responses to To Whom it Concerns…It’s The Manky Toy Show (Live)!

  1. Simon McGarr said:

    Already I’m hooked- Why the Navvy? The least celebrated of all the manual working claques.

    Glad to see such a gritty dock dweller was suitably burly.

    Posting from far away through the magic of N800 and phone internet connection.

  2. fústar said:

    He looks a bit too jolly and in love with his work for a navvy too. He smiles to hide the tears…

  3. Simon McGarr said:

    I like that ddisclaimer- I must try it myself. “Words spoken may or may not contain sense”

  4. Simon McGarr said:

    I like that ddisclaimer- I must try it myself. “Words spoken may or may not contain sense”

  5. fústar said:

    You like it so much you’re saying it twice! Or is that the N800 going on the blink?

  6. Simon McGarr said:

    I’m wondering what other under celebrated professions may find themselves in the Jun Long rang? As China is having something of a Industrial Revolution piled on top of a Dickensian explosion of flight to the cities, perhaps we might see legoish depictions of mudlarks and padfoots.

  7. Fergal said:

    The first time I ever saw a ball pool was on a Toy show. I still want one even now.
    Will the Manky Toy Show have treats for audience members?

  8. Fergal said:

    Action man spots the Intruder with his Eagle Eyes. His shifty and untrustworthy Eagle eyes.

  9. fústar said:

    Fergal, go way or I’ll stare at you with my own eagle eyes.

    Actually there may be prizes. We’ll see how the night unfolds.

  10. fústar said:

    Simon,

    Jun Long will, I’m sure, have the full compliment of slave wage workers out before long. “Manky Toy factory worker” anyone?

  11. Simon McGarr said:

    Blasted children with their Ball Pools. They were introduced just as I was too old to climb in and roll around. A piece of any decent childhood which I didn’t realise that I was missing out on until it was too late.
    I envy them so.

  12. Fergal said:

    I note that we are not told why the Intruder must be apprehended. Hes simply a “strongman from another world” What crime has he committed? Were he a “credit-card fraudster from another world” I would understand. But I can’t help but feel that its the “from another world” part that is the motivating factor, and the Action Team merely a heavy-handed deportation squad

  13. Simon McGarr said:

    Whoa! Is that a spideyphone. My spidey ringtones are tingling. Or set to vibrate, I’m not sure which.

  14. fústar said:

    Fergal,

    Come on! Look at him! If ever there was a man from another world who was on the verge of saying “Must destroy the Earth!” it’s him. You’re too soft.

  15. Fergal said:

    Tut, tut, this kind of pre-emptative law enforcement is the stuff of totalitarianism. Still, he is “The Intruder”, so I suppose you could do him for trespass, but that’s hardly a job for Action Team, or even a solo gig for Bullet Man.

  16. Fergal said:

    What a strange voice your mother has

  17. Simon McGarr said:

    Two responses- personal obsevation confirms that telephones are the most coveted items for small children- the very small children who would look like this phone if they were wearing the Spiderman suit from Argos they so covet. This item represents multiple wish fullfillment.

    As regards the packaging- “Nighttime a bankable actor Electric torch use”- this is the kind of secret code that would-be spidermen with buttons inset to their torsos should be able to crack in mere minutes.

  18. Simon McGarr said:

    Ok, now that I’ve seen it working I can confirm that if it were not certainly constructed from a mix of aspestos, mercury and virii, it would be the greatest toy for a 9 month old ever created.

  19. Simon McGarr said:

    Will there be a traditional Toy Show Musical Interlude? I’m looking forward to the Cats being conducted by Jess to wail a version of Silent Night by pulling their tails at different angles.

  20. fústar said:

    Simon, There will be music, but no cat abuse. Sorry. Just got a call from “copernicus” to say that he has been shut out by “spamhaus”. That’s what you get for trying to flog Viagra.

  21. Simon McGarr said:

    I bought his viagra, it was rubbish. Blu-tack holds the pictures up much better.

    Stays up all night long, indeed!

  22. Simon McGarr said:

    His claims may have been inflated, but they didn’t match the outright lies of Buckaroo whose slogan should have been The Toy That Breaks Forever When You Try To Use It!

    Give me a Hungry Hungry Hungry Hippo any day.

  23. copernicus said:

    “contents may vary” is an astoundingly honest disclaimer for a toy manufacturer bent on the rape of a trusted brand.

    Can it be that the makers of Navvy are moved to minimise the potential disappointment of their tiny, impoverished customers, not to revel in same?

  24. Simon McGarr said:

    This very SchmayStation was recently recommended to me as something to seek out by everyone’s favourite Micky Pills Pusher, Copernicas.

  25. copernicus said:

    trusty nokia n770 is circumventing the spam monkey sitting in the wifi box.

    sadly, i have to bring my girlfriend home to her house.will i miss all the manky toy action?

  26. Simon McGarr said:

    Ok we’re off. There are some bleeping sounds, some blocky shapes that look like antibodies, I’m trying to figure out which buttons to press. Shit! “Game Over”!

    Wow. A profound statement on the human condition in handheld game format. Art can hide in unexpected places.

  27. fústar said:

    Copernicus.

    I’d say we’ll be hear for a good while yet. “Jun Long Toys” have me committed to reviewing at least two more toys. Plus we’ve got ads and more drinking to do.

  28. Simon McGarr said:

    Knocks “The Spirit of Duty Free” into a cocked hat.

  29. Simon McGarr said:

    For myself, I’m passing the time in an enjoyable way (avoiding the Who wants to be a Millionaire repeats) waiting for the regular 11 O’Clock scream.

  30. Fergal said:

    Repeats of game shows? So this is what it has come to.

  31. fústar said:

    Stay with me chaps.We’re nearly there.

  32. Fergal said:

    Our Disco Diva is a peculiar anatomical model. Yes, she is generously headed, but I am more disturbed how her body tapers to an inpossibly tiny waist before widening again at her feet, two huge hoofs which begin, at the calf, to form a triangle roughly the size of her huge bulbous head.

  33. fústar said:

    That’s the Bratz look Fergal. In the near future plastic surgery will allow all our young wans to mutate themselves into this shape.

    “Give me an all over Disco Diva, doc”.

  34. Fergal said:

    Those vast wedge-shaped feet were last modelled by the At-At from Star Wars. You couldn’t knock the girl over, but you could probably snap her in two just above the knee

  35. fústar said:

    At-At commander: “They’re bringing the old girl down…with rope! How did we not see that coming?”

  36. Fergal said:

    In my research for the AT-At, I came across the startling discovery that there was a Star Wars radio series on American Public Radio:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars_%28radio%29

  37. fústar said:

    Fergal, I did not know that. No time to read it now though. It’s no laughing matter running your own talk show.

  38. Fergal said:

    “Puppy Squeezer”. Bummer of a nickname, dude.

  39. copernicus said:

    I was in the two euro shop recently browsing the PS Onealike when I suddenly started back from the display at a sudden clammy, moist yet unwet sensation rapidly overwhelming my epiduris.

    One of those packets of goo had come apart – or been deliberately booby-trapped by a passing child – and the hideous, ectoplasmic ooze was slathering over my flesh.

    I thought I was having a visitation from Madame Blavatsky.

  40. copernicus said:

    I very nearly shit myself.

  41. Fergal said:

    I always wondered what class of goo was used inside these things. Inevitably, curiousity would, after some time, lead me to puncture the rubber prphylactic keeping the slime away from an unprepared world. I would then have a sticky hand and a broken toy. This happened to me about once a year as a child.

  42. Fergal said:

    Puppy squeezer is a strange creature, a dog with, if I’m not mistaken, a duck’s bill.

  43. Green Ink said:

    Dammit I tuned late. I’ll just watch the repeat tomorrow so.

  44. copernicus said:

    The Star Wars radio show wiki entry imparts the following.

    “Many of the actors involved in the movie were unavailable to reprise their roles: Harrison Ford, for instance, was committed to the first Indiana Jones movie. Mark Hamill and Anthony Daniels returned to reprise their roles as Luke Skywalker and C-3PO respectively.”

    That didn’t bode too well careerwise.

    I should say that it took me a while to work out where that goo was coming from and what it was. Those were a very long and agonised few seconds I can tell you, especially for one who’d never heard of puppy squeezer goo.

  45. Fergal said:

    “Hello, NPR? No, I have no film parts to prevent me taking part in this fine and doubtless lucrative production. Yes, I certainly shall be available to reprise my role for your radio show! And, no doubt, for a great many soul-crushing nerd conventions for yon three decades to come.”

  46. fústar said:

    Green Ink, Glad to have you on board even at this late hour. Tell some jokes. Keep me awake…

  47. Fergal said:

    “Melt your soul”. An interesting idea. I am aware of no religion or system of spiritual or mystical belief that posits a human soul which is not only tangible, but deliquescent.

  48. copernicus said:

    “oranges! Preztels!”

    Er, non-descript dots I think you’ll find.

    And why is Ms Pacman wearing furs? Did that game predate hot, nude models doing the whole PETA thing?

  49. fústar said:

    Fergal,

    You’re just the kind of sceptic who’d have his soul melted first in an ensemble horror flick.

    Copernicus,

    If you were but a handful of pixels you’d use every bit of wardrobe assistance available to you to jazz yourself up.

  50. Fergal said:

    I think it was “more” than pacman with a bow. Like we believed that

  51. copernicus said:

    I think she sings “More than Pacman with a bow.

    While it’s good that she wasn’t called “Miss” Pacman, it’s somewhat of a copout from true progressivism to call her “Ms.” with the full stop implying a contraction of “Miss”. Slightly poltroonish not to embrace the feminist neologism “Ms” simpliciter.

  52. Fergal said:

    All of which is pointless faux feminist window dressing, if they couldn’t just make her pac-woman. Why, why must a female disc-shaped computer game sprite always be defined in terms of her male disc-shaped computer game sprite counterpart? Answer me that, society!

  53. copernicus said:

    Actually, she should have been called “Pacmiss” or something It’s not like she’s one of the Pacmans of Ballydehob, like, er Pacman.

    Or Mr. Pacman as he must obviously be. You, know, or maybe Master Pacman. I’m not privy.

  54. Fergal said:

    Nighttime: not only the right time to be with the one you love, but also a bankable actor. Manky Toy show a huge success. Late Late version will be crushed by it before long.

  55. fústar said:

    Answer me that, society!

    Society thinks, frets, then hangs its head(s) in shame for want of an answer.

  56. fústar said:

    Although, one could argue that “Pacman” is actually Pacman’s surname. As in John Pacman, or Steve Pacman. The fact that we never learn his first name is neither here nor there.

    If that was the case then couldn’t his wife legitimately take his surname but tag on the Ms. in a fit of defiance?

    Perhaps not. It’d work if she was his sister though.

  57. fústar said:

    Manky Toy show a huge success. Late Late version will be crushed by it before long.

    Ta Fergal. One of my (modest) goals in life is to stomp into RTÉ at the helm of a giant robot “Navvy” and squash Pat Kenny underfoot – leaving behind only a “Puppy Squeezer” fluid type stain.

    Not much to ask.

  58. copernicus said:

    In all the fuss, it seems to have been forgotten that this event took place during Festivus.

  59. fústar said:

    Gah! How perfect! A new Festivus tradition perhaps.

    “The showing of the manky toys”

  60. foolhardy said:

    Despite spending the entire day in my jim jams I still managed to miss the show. Unemployment clearly suits me. I have a ball of oozy goo on order via the hinthurnet which I had planned to give to Copernicus for the season that’s in it. Perhaps a rethink is in order.

  61. copernicus said:

    I see foolhardy has decided the time has come to retire his traditional yuletide gift – the steam off his piss.

    And to think, he never replies to my texts.

  62. foolhardy said:

    Sorry Copernicus, was on a whistle stop tour of the UK when your last text arrived so never got back to you. I’ll be in Dublin early in the new year on a visa hunt so will give you a holler. Have a splendid christmas and mind you don’t drink too much egg nog.

  63. Simon McGarr said:

    Sorry I missed the end of the show. Quite taken with the revolting duck billed platy-pup.

  64. Nollaig faoi shéan is faoi mhaise dhuit.

  65. fústar said:

    Bock, Same to you and yours.

    Simon, I presumed the baba had woken and (quite rightly) dragged you away. A Merry Christmas to yourself, your lovely wife (Embarr!) and you little fella.

  66. Bob Byrne said:

    Great piece dude, I work beside a poundworld now so it satisfies my shit toy hunger just to look and not buy

  67. fústar said:

    Thanks Bob. I wasn’t aware that “pound shops” still existed. I thought the Euro had swept all before it causing an avalanche of name changes.

  68. copernicus said:

    “Poundworld” isn’t a “pound shop”, it’s an adult superstore. That doesn’t mean Bob isn’t referring to manky toys though. Just a different kind of mankiness.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>