Around the same time, I went to many crappy Ireland matches (on crutches too) in Landsdowne that were practically empty.

Those were the days! Lashing rain and a churned up muck pile for a pitch. Tony Grealish, John Devine, Gerry Daly and other long-forgotten legends sewn into skimpy pin-stripe jerseys.

I suddenly feel terribly old…

My brother and I went in to greet the team on their open top bus in town when they came back. All I can remember is the chaos and Ray singing - to the tune of the Camptown Races - “who put the ball in the England net? I did, I did”. Brilliant.

Around the same time, I went to many crappy Ireland matches (on crutches too) in Landsdowne that were practically empty. After ‘88, it was much harder to get tickets.

I recall watching the qualifying matches for the 86 World Cup (so close…dammit) and feeling like I was an enthusiast of some obscure, niche activity. I never remember my Da watching a second of an Ireland match until Jack took over. It was all rugby and GAA. “Soccer” came a distant third (if it was lucky).

Paisley shirt bought in a mall, eh? You just don’t get much more late 80s than that.

I don’t trust that dog.

If you think the dog is freaky and devious looking as a 2-D image you should see him as a 3-D mascot dancing up and down the sidelines. His enormous maw looks made for but one thing - devouring children.

Naranjito is one of those mascots whose painfully forced grin and wide-eyed stare seem to be screaming “Please…Killll Meeeee”. Life as a hideous anthropomorphised freak is clearly getting him down.

That bbcoded monstrosity above looked ok till I pressed submit, honest…

All fixed now, Matt. The monstrosity has been tamed.

Matt

Is it me or is the Dog mascot pictured above concealing something in its left paw? Something’s not right about it anyway, from the leering tongue to the bow legged stance. I don’t trust that dog.

Anyway it reminded me of some of the other daft mascots football’s thrown up, the first I can remember being Naranjito, the improbably anthropomorhised orange from Espana 82.

There’s a selection of them here:

Rosy cheeked best friends Tip and Tap could only come from a more innocent age, back then they doubtless referenced football as a unifying force, today they’d more likely be the focus of right wing rage for promoting alternative lifestyles.

We’ve just made his-toe-ree,
We’re off to Ger-man-ee.
We’ve had to wait til now,
Big Jack has shown us how.
You’ll wonder where we’ve been,
When you see the boys in green…

The rest of the clip would be a staid affair, livened only by shots of the players “larking” around with headphones, with one of the team’s “characters” perhaps pulling hilarious rock’n'roll poses in dark glasses.

Oh man. You’ve caused some unwanted images to come flashing back there. Shudder…

As I recall, the team (and Jack) appeared on The Late Late just before jetting off to “Ger-man-ee”. I have a vision of them standing in their “serried rows” miming (with acute embarrassment) to “Boys in Green”. Anyone share this (possibly false) memory?