Holland: Contrary As Ever
The Championships thus far have already given us much to enjoy. The discovery that Austria had a goalkeeper called Macho was certainly an early high point. Excellent facial hair was sported, and ruminated upon. I was pleased to note that those teams sporting Puma-manufactured kits have natty pixellated numbers on their shirts, no doubt a sly homage to the visual theme here at Super Euro Soccer Party.
But all of this was mere frippery when compared to the entrance onto the Euro ’08 stage of my Dutch boys. Things did not bode well in the run-up. Certainly, the Dutch public were in gloomy mood. The team, Netherlanders were saying, was the weakest they'd had in some time, and Van Basten was playing a defensive game, not true to the best traditions of Dutch football. The ever-present promise of player dissension had yet to materialise, but there was always the possibility that such matters as the absence from the squad of Clarence Seedorf would lead to a bust-up. All it takes is a bad opening game; someone mutters “This wouldn’t have happened if Clarence was here", and it all kicks off.
Thus it was no surprise to any seasoned Holland-watcher when, in preview mode, RTÉ’s Bill O’Herlihy mentioned reports of a training pitch row this very morning. Some weaker souls would have thrown their hands in the air; fighting each other the morning before you play the world champions? A recipe for disaster, surely? Not a bit of it. The Dutch thrive on this stuff. Such is The Neurotic Genius of Dutch Football. They'd come out and be awesome, just to confuse us.
So I settled in with a can or two of Dutch Gold and an ounce of prime Amsterdam superskunk, and watched them play the pants off Italy. Admittedly, it was a rather creaky, arthritic Italy, and the first goal was so obviously offside that you’d be doing it a favour if you called it dubious. Even Van Nistelrooy himself looked a little sheepish in his celebration, a change from his usual, more equine aspect.
Nonetheless, Holland worked hard, making tackles and blocking down passes right up until the final whistle. The second and third goals were excellent; Sneijder's strike might even force us to get the Whelanometer out. And where Italy looked not just incapable of scoring, but uninterested in it, Holland had the kind of attitude you’d expect of a nation with a club called the “Go-Ahead Eagles. With France looking a bit crummy, Holland are suddenly contenders, thus making a massive argument significantly more likely. Minor spats like this morning’s to-do on the training pitch are but minor tremors – we await the Big One with trepidation, for when it comes, it will destroy everything. But tonight is more than enough to be going on with until then. I'll write a post with some analysis of what the papers are saying back in the Netherlands, as soon as I've learnt Dutch.
June 9, 2008
5 responses to Holland: Contrary As Ever
It was great to see those Italian fake-world-cup-champions hammered as they deserved. They stole the World Cup by annoying poor Zizou too much and I’m glad the Dutch heroes kicked their miserable, unshaven arses.
The Dutch are nothing if not perverse. You expect them to fall flat on their fannies and they turn up and steam-roll the world champions. “Neurotic Genius” how are ya?
Well it’s the only one that’s come even close thus far! I’d have to see it again but at first glance I’d award it a tentative 2.5 on the Whelanometer.
It’ll probably result in them imploding, throwing away a lead, and (as usual) losing on penalties.
I hope not. Tonight they glowed with a healthy (rather than sickly) orange. It was a joy to see.
Incidentally Fergal, what exact demographic are you trying to appeal to with topless pics of Wesley Sneijder?
I have a simple rule of thumb which dictates that when I search for images of a particular player, I will always choose the one of him on a gurney, giving a thumbs up.
In that case consider the above image emphatically well-chosen.