As the group stage rolls into its final round of matches, and the Dutch continue to pile up goal of the tournament nominations, it's time to (temporarily) turn out attentions from the here & now and focus instead on the there & then.
Though UEFA seem (like a bunch of big fat spoilsports) to have gone around nuking YouTube videos of tournaments past,1 there are still some goodies to be had - at least for now. The Beeb's "Euro Classics: Top Ten Goals" is one such tasty morsel - even though it seems to imply that there were no truly memorable goals scored before 1988.
This oversight may be due to the short-ish memories of the 20/30-something Beeb production team, or (as is more likely) simply suggest that archival footage of first 6 or 7 tournaments is pretty thin on the ground. Still, while it doesn't appear that the championship made a really significant impact on the public/TV-watching imagination till the format was retooled in 1984, it's a shame not to see a few more oldies hunted down, dug up and included.
But enough whinging 'n' moaning. Sit back (or lean forward…it's up to you) and enjoy these ten little beauties. Observations and reflections to follow:
10) John Jensen - Denmark vs. Germany (1992, Final).
Two questions (that I can't remember the answer to). 1) Which commentator described Jensen (after the above thunderbolt) as the man who "couldn't hit a barn door in the semi-final"? 2) Who's the German player flinging himself despairingly at the feet of JJ as he prepares to smack it?
9) Marc Overmars - Netherlands vs. Yugoslavia (2000, 1/4 final).
Though the Dutch were imperious here (eventually thrashing a hapless Yugoslavia 6-1), they, almost inevitably, exited on penalties against a dogged but dour Italian team in the next round. England may have a well-earned reputation for consistently abject failure as far as penalties are concerned, but Holland (with three such defeats in 1992, 1996 & 2000) are right down there in spot-kick hell with them.
8) Davor Šuker - Croatia vs. Denmark (1996, Group D).
Šuker not only married considerable technical ability with a pleasing likeness to Lyle Lovett, he also provided Euro 1996 with one of its most delightful and indelible moments. The memory of Peter Schmeichel landing flat on his hole as he flapped uselessly at a sublimely executed chip is one that will never wither or grow old.
7) Frank De Boer - Netherlands vs. France (2000, Group D).
Holland again in Euro 2000 - they year they co-hosted the competition and the year they blew their best chance since '88 of winning it. Three wins out of three in the group stages, capped by a 3-2 defeat of France - a match graced by De Boer's memorable outside of the foot screamer. Thunderous blunderbusses from distance have always been a distinctive feature of Dutch football (as it once was with South/North Korea and the USSR) so De Boer was simply upholding a spectacular tradition. It's still not a patch on Arie Haan's monster against Italy in the '78 World Cup though (see the end of this very enjoyable vid for details):
6) Karel Poborský - Czech Republic vs. Portugal (1996, 1/4 Final).
The Czechs' improbable run to the final in '96 was one I'll never forget - I was living in Prague (teaching English) at the time. The 3-3 draw against their (ahem) 'beloved' Russian pals in the group stages sparked joy unconfined until Oliver Bierhoff's "golden goal" (a novelty thankfully consigned to the FIFA scrapheap) finally took a dump on the parade. Boo.
5) Maniche - Portugal vs. Holland (2004, Semi-Final).
Just ridiculous. One of those, "He's no right to have a go from here" gems that leaves you goggle-eyed and breathless. The sound of it cracking off the far upright was merely the icing on an extravagant cake.
4) Ronnie Whelan - Ireland vs. USSR (1988, Group B).
Isn't this where we came in (on the 28th of May)? Despite some spectacular efforts thus far we're still waiting for something to really set the needle of our Whelan-o-meter whizzing.
3) Tomas Brolin - Sweden vs. England (1992, Group A).
We've been here before as well. Everybody's favourite chunky Swedish maestro/meatball at his infectious best. Yummy.
2) Paul Gascoigne - England vs. Scotland (1996, Group A).
While the goal and the subsequent "Dentist's Chair" celebration have been written about and rehashed ad nauseam, the psychic warfare being waged over Wembley that day has received less serious attention.
Hovering "1,200 feet above the stadium clutching 11 energized crystals" in his mystical hands is Israeli spoon-bending champion Uri Geller. Up steps baldy Scottish genius Gary McAllister to blast home the penalty that will level matters at 1-1. A formality surely. But what's this? The ball on the spot shifts, slightly but perceptibly, to one side. McAllister, faced with this unexpected bit of occult interference, duffs his penalty. Moments later Gazza does his thing and the rest is history.
McAllister, one of the world's top players, admitted it was one of his worst penalty kicks ever. He kicked the ball poorly as it moved, so his shot had no power, and the goalie easily scooped it up. "That's never happened before, the ball moving like that," said McAllister. Seaman added: "I noticed the ball started rolling, and I thought he might stop and start over. But Gary just went ahead and kicked it, and something told me to dive the right way and save it. The ball moving definitely caused him to miss."2
Catchy chants of "You're so shit you got mind-fucked by Gellar and his 11 energized crystals!" were to plague the great man till his retirement.
1) Marco Van Basten - Netherlands vs. USSR (1988, Final).
Mis-hit cross. Nothing special…
- Offering us, instead, its own lame pay-per-view service. [back]
- http://www.uri-geller.com/fbnatenq.htm [back]
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