Didn’t someone once calculate that, at the rate of speed with which Elvis impersonators were appearing, that by the middle of this century a third of the world would be Elvis? Elvises vs Vampires, perhaps?

There’s some small comfort in that - knowing that armies of Elvises are working away diligently to keep vamp numbers down.

Great idea for a film. I’m off to write it…or would be if it hadn’t already (sort of) been done before. Bubba Ho-Tep? Not far off.

A few other “something else” suggestions.

Breeze blown plastic bags that shape themselves into humanoid form and suffocate people in their sleep (this would probably have to set, for believability reasons, before the current 22 cent tax).

A group of trans-dimensional rogue electrons freed from their eternal sleep by CERN.

Animated pile of clothes filled with loathing and hatred for their masters.

Human shaped mound of hair clippings from a barber shop floor, seeking their lost bodies.

The negative hole left by the soul of a person who never existed.

I think it was… something else…

Gah! “Something else” is far more petrifying than a “regular” ghost. A ghostly appearance at the end of the bed is something that can (at least) be understood in the context of what ghosts are supposed to be - a dead relative trying to make contact etc.

“Something else” just sounds unknowable and unclassifiable. An experience that shocks and discombobulates but doesn’t appear to have an obvious purpose - unless the purpose is merely to make your neighbour soil himself.

I may not sleep for the rest of the week…

My scaredy Italian neighbour woke up to see a figure standing over his wife - she wants to hear nothing about it, and he just said darkly, no, no, it wasn’t a ghost, I think it was… something else…’ and I automatically assumed he thought he saw a vampire.

Wooooo-oooooooo!

Tell her to drop in tomorrow night (9 p.m. Irish time) if she wants to chat about Polidori’s “The Vampyre”.

I’m sending your site address to a french friend with a keen interest in VAMPIRE lit + an excellent sense of humor, maybe you’ll be hearing from her!!

regards, Ira in new york city.