I remember crushing a pack of me dads Benson & Hedges after seeing that advert only to be swiftly smacked around the head and sent down the newsagents to buy him some more.

I went one better and burnt down our local fag-selling newsagents. The police (and my parents) were slightly miffed, but I knew I was serving a righteous cause,

Proactive vigilantism is often frowned upon…as superheroes themselves well know. I still beat up any kids I see smoking,

Is there a comics writer post-1985 who’s asked any other question?!

Touche! (Sorry, I’m not terribly familiar with superhero comics post-Watchmen…) You’re right, though, about Nick O’Teen’s inherent evil – you can’t trust that beady stare, the yellow teeth, that enormous phallic paedo-nose (and how did his honker get so huge? It’s normal size when he’s a child. Is it due to biologically misplaced “excitement”?)

If Supes had pulled that shit when I was waiting outside the off-licence for my friend with facial hair to buy me 4 cans of cider circa 1990 I’d have gone mental

As if that weren’t bad enough, imagine some poor 15-year-old going into a shop and forcing his wobbly voice into a basso profundo so he can buy a copy of Playboy, only to have Superman crash to the wall of the shop and give him a lecture on “going blind”.

Next up you’ll be asking whether it’s moral, or constitutional, for superpowered aliens (with their underpants outside their trousers) to dispense rough justice on the streets of Metropolis. What about due process?

Is there a comics writer post-1985 who’s asked any other question?!

Perhaps the tale of Nick’s downfall and eventual redemption, can end with him being renamed as Nick O’Rett? Or Stick O’Gum?

I’d like to believe it but, alas, I fear that the cancer sticks have too firm a hold on him (both physically and psychologically). Like Harvey Dent his “Nick O’Teen” kiddy-corrupting persona will hide just under the surface waiting to burst forth whenever he passes through Duty Free.

These kids were hardened puffers already, and probably thought “Oh great, here comes that smelly old pervert who gives us free fags. I hope Superman doesn’t come along and ruin everything again�

If Supes had pulled that shit when I was waiting outside the off-licence for my friend with facial hair to buy me 4 cans of cider circa 1990 I’d have gone mental.

These kids were hardened puffers already, and probably thought “Oh great, here comes that smelly old pervert who gives us free fags. I hope Superman doesn’t come along and ruin everything again”

I’d love to produce a strip on Nick’s backstory. How he himself (as Doubtful suggests) is but a victim of a giant cigarette-pushing corpo-machine. The tragic tale of his misdirected bitterness needs to be told. He was once a man. Like you and I.

Niall, Oh I believe the youngsters love the drugs. They go mad for them entirely. They have the cocaine for breakfast, dinner and tea. Sure doesn’t the neighbour’s young fella spread heroin on his toast every morning? The whole country’s gone mad!

But the absolute best of them was an anti-drug Captain America comic. A guy who was a skinny, sickly loser before the government shot him up with ’super soldier serum’ has no business telling anybody to stay away from drugs.

Ho ho! Fabulous stuff. “Don’t do drugs kids. Drugs are bad. Look at what they did to me? Made me a beloved patriotic icon who leads the world’s coolest superhero team – The Avengers. Er…”

If cigarettes are so evil, at any age, wouldn’t Superman have been better hurling the CEOs of the cigarette companies into outer space, and demolishing their factories with his mighty fists?

Demolishing factories? Attacking industrialists? Take it outside you Commie rat!

And if Nick O’Teen was hooked himself as a child, isn’t he a victim too?

That’s more of it! Go hug a tree pinko! (Regards, Frank Miller).

One other observation. Isn’t it a bit rich of Supes to react so violently to the harmful effects of cigarettes when he himself is using his X-Ray vision so indiscriminately? I give those kids 5 years tops before life-threatening leukaemia kicks in.

That Captain America book is an exploitation classic:

http://captain-america.us/articles/anti-drug/anti_drug.htm

There were a ton of these educational comics released in the states. I won an anti-drug Teen Titans one in 6th grade that was actually pretty okay, as it was at least drawn by George Perez and featured everybody’s favorite ex-junkie teen hero Speedy, so it at least made more sense than if it was Robin telling poor inner city youth to ‘just say no’ before Alfred arrives in the limo to drive him back to Wayne Manor. Robin stand-in The Protector was super lame, though. I guess Aqualad was busy.

But the absolute best of them was an anti-drug Captain America comic. A guy who was a skinny, sickly loser before the government shot him up with ‘super soldier serum’ has no business telling anybody to stay away from drugs.

In anecdotal West Kerry, at least, drugs – drugs! – were the bugbear du jour. K. O’Kane and the ruthless foreigners and signers-on who apparently comprise the criminal class were the ones ruining Ireland. D’ students, boss. Katy French, hi. The fucking country, so.

This post reminded me of Superman’s public service in another medium. In The Fiery Cross, Weyn Craig Wade recounts the story of a mole in the Ku Klux Klan who fed their passwords and plots to state attorneys and, most notably, to the writers of the Superman radio program. Supes takes on a thinly veiled KKK, and apparently it worked. You can hear more and excerpts from the radio program in this episode of This American Life. It’s a fascinating listen.

Also:

I love the “Cigarettes are bad. Send off this coupon for your free pack” bit. I hope whomever wrote that went off to a lucrative career in copywriting.

What the hell is with that animated Superman’s bobbing head?