Posted by fústar in 
As local/European elections loom into view (and candidates hock their wares & crush their policies into tasty sound bite form) there will, no doubt, be much sober, earnest and considered debate on the Irish blogoweb regarding gains, losses, shocks and surprises. There will also, I'm sure, be plenty of pointing & laughing – as savage spotlights are shone on candidates' ruddy faces, cheap suits, and gormless expressions.
Fitting somewhere between a cheap-shot and a spot of po-faced analysis lies this blog's "Campaign Poster Debaffler" – a (very) half-baked, critical attempt to expose the layers of meaning buried in the propagandic images that currently surround us.
First up, Fine Gael – and the bould Cllr. Cormac Hurley.
Ok, so what this (and other identical FG posters) seems to be driving at is that the party will lead the country out of its present (penurious) muck, mire and misery and on into a brave prosperous dawn. Just look at that deep blue sky with its dash of white fluffy clouds if you don't believe me. Nothing could be lovelier.
Not only that, but the good people of Ireland stand square behind both Cllr. Hurley and the party he nobly represents. They're young(ish). They're confident. They're smug (albeit with smugness somewhat chastened by global financial collapse). They're ready to put their shoulders to the wheel. They shelter beneath Cllr. Hurley's giant ears waiting for a chance to turn this country around. They look like this (or at least the ones under his left ear do).
So much for the intended effect. An alternative reading was offered by Jess as we strolled past it at the weekend. The heavenly sky of optimism in the background might be just that: heavenly. Cllr. Hurley may, in fact, be dead. He's lived a rich, full life but his time (as it must with all men) has come. There to meet him at the pearly gates are an eclectic bunch of loved ones who've gone before him. Forms are mutable in the afterlife, so Cllr. Hurley may soon (if he so chooses) "look" like that confident successful guy with the blonde hair and blue shirt. Anything's possible. He could even have boobs.
Now there's a campaign slogan for ya. Forget "A Fairer Ireland" (snore, boring). This is the kind of radical alternative the gloomy, cynical public wants:
Fine Gael – You Could have Boobs.
They'd have my vote.
A mere moment after the poster photo was shot, Cllr. Hurley said a simple “Goodbye” to earthly life and turned away from us to join the celestial choir of yuppie angels that stands behind him. It comes as perhaps no surprise that heaven has only a very small FG cohort. Those nicely groomed young people are not a mere welcoming committee – they are the entire membership. As to whether other FGers gone to their eternal rest switched parties after death, or are merely, er, not on the premises, I cannot speculate, not being an expert in politico-theology.
Still, when one adds up the total number of FG candidates being run in this election, every one of whom is similarly pictured at the very moment of their passing through the pearly gates, one can only imagine that the next meeting of the Heaven Constituency Branch will be well attended. Though one must wonder, how can it be heaven if you have to go to Fine Gael meetings?
Incidentally, Priority One on Cllr. Hurley’s campaign flyer (which was, coincidentally, delivered to my door this very evening) is as follows.
“Anti Social Behaviour [vandalism etc.] must be eliminated”.
Not tackled, or reduced, or addressed. Eliminated. Cllr. Hurley has gone all “Arnie” on us it would seem. Nothing but total destruction of Anti Social behaviour will do.
Should be easy. I look forward to seeing the results.
Fergal, we (or rather FG) seem to be veering into “Heaven’s Gate” territory here. If a Fine Gael councillor comes to my door wearing a beatific smile and expounding at length about astral forms and mother ships I’ll let you know.
I know times are tough. But (subliminally) suggesting mass suicide as an option does seem a tad OTT.
Gay Mitchell is definitely campaigning from Heaven in his posters. I think the people behind FG’s candidates are an army of playmobil minions.
They will clean up the nation with tiny open clenched hands.
“I put it to you, Cllr. Hurley, that enthusiastic though your Playmobil minions may be, it’s rather hard to believe that they’ll be able to perform anything but the most rudimentary tasks. At the very least (and I mean no disrespect to people who’ve lost limbs etc), at the very least what this country needs, in its present state, are committed individuals with multiple digits on both hands. I mean otherwise, you know, we’re in an awful state altogether.”
Hee, Playmobil.
I think ‘Boobs for All’ is a good slogan.
I’m so unconvinced by the token black guy in this picture. They’re not Irish. Nope. They’re American.
Have you seen Cllr. Byrne’s poster? I have it on good authority she actually does have boobs!
I have, Cnuimh. Some bizarre technicolouring effect has rendered her black and orange. In heaven (or a Fine Gael led Ireland) she could have a mickey too, not just boobs.
[...] mentions are all Limerick’s finest! First up is the start of a new series from Fustar. In the Campaign Poster Debaffler . Fitting somewhere between a cheap-shot and a spot of po-faced analysis lies this blog’s [...]
its his dead family calling out to him
sw,
His (slightly) multi-ethnic family seems to be composed almost entirely of members who died in their 30s. Cut down in their primes while Cllr. Hurley went on alone. Growing older. And sadder.
[...] “Campaign Poster Debaffler” next focuses its critical gaze on the kindly physog of Cllr. John Cronin. Here he [...]
Is it just me or are a lot of their shirts a bit……well…..blue!
[...] Simon’s unearthly glow certainly seems to indicate that she’s either a) Dead (see Cormac Hurley for details), or, b) straddling a crack in the space-time continuum, and phasing in & out of [...]
A little off topic for the post..but it is refreshing to read an entire thread that has no spelling errors or internet slang….You need to re-elect your Education Minister!!!
LOL! TX Chris. I luv spelling, FTW!