Posted by fústar in 
The universe may be little more than a chaotic and unfeeling soup of neutrinos, quarks, gluons and dark matter that's barely (if at all) aware of our fleeting existences, but (even in this flux & emptiness & horror) there are oases of stability, reassurance, and constancy.
Or so August Storck KG, makers of Werther's Original(s), would have us believe. Their sweets are the sugary glue that bind the myriad fabrics of reality together. They existed before the big bang. Before God (who based his whole shtick on the company's trademark chuckly and benign Grandfather).
They incongruously (and thrillingly) combine raw elemental power, with saccharine tweeness. They are steadfast. Changeless. Ageless. Beloved by viewers of Countdown. Yet eternal. Universal. Stare at a Werther's Original under an electron microscope and what do you see? Millions of smaller Werther's Originals. Each one of which contains a trillion even more tiny Wether's Originals. And so on and on and on forever. And ever. And ever.
What follows is a humble (Flipnote) attempt to capture this omnipresent and cosmically head-fucking essence.
More tomorrow.
This is truly a Werthy Origin(al) theory.
I like them, though.
But I need five fillings at the moment so my Werther’s days are over. I’ll have to find my creamy goodness elsewhere.
Sucking a Werther’s is like steeping into a crap time machine. A time machine invented by, um, Gyles Brandreth or somebody. One that only takes you back to insipidly lovely moments in history.
Tea-making facilities on-board as standard of course.
Were you raised by mean grandparents, Fustar? Such resentment of sucky sweets…
My grandparents were lovely!
My sucky sweet associations are more clerical. Scarifying nuns and priests who tried to rope me into altar boy service (using actual rope).
Werthers Originals = Paedo Pellets.
Hahahaha!