Glamorous Teacher
Back when I was a seething pubescent pool of bubbling 'n' boiling hormones, I frequently (and guiltily) dragged (female) teachers into the sordid dream-scapes of my burgeoning masturbatory fantasies. This was not a comment on the attractiveness, or otherwise, of said teachers. Merely an acknowledgment of the fact that in a sheltered, pre-internet (and pre-everything) Ireland you had to make use of what was in front of you.
In my defense, however, I kept these dark thoughts to myself (shielding them even from the constantly prying and judgmental eyes of God). Readers of the 1980s Eagle showed no such discretion. Week after week they would – for the princely sum of £5 – openly lay bare their obsessions in the brain-zappingly mental "Glamorous Teacher".
Suchard Elegance Chocs? Slurping and money-grabbing masters Meldrum & Locke? Soft-focus (soft porn) pics of "a pretty miss" with come-hither-young-man eyes? Chuckle! Oh, 1982. You're a scream! No wonder I'm on so much medication…
April 12, 2010
22 responses to Glamorous Teacher
Those kids got £2.50 STERLING each out of this Fústar. The local bank managers probably fought about who got to pick them up in his own car and open an account for them. There was probably a civic reception for them. I mean, in the early 90s I got a drawing of Comrade Bronski printed in Eagle, and it got reported in the Derry Journal. True story.
Ha! Scan please. We need to see that.
I had a picture of an elephant shown on Pat’s Hat (or possibly Chat). It was a giddy and thrilling moment. And I didn’t whore myself out for the money neither.
Lost in a recently demolished turf shed I believe. Actually, I think I got a tenner for that. Minted I was.
One can imagine the “chocs” arriving in the post for Miss. Skinner. Mystified, she calls King’s Reach Tower – to be told they’re courtesy of two of her pupils. Two of her pupils who sit up the front and stare scarlet-cheeked and longingly at her. Two of her pupils who practise-kiss their forearms and dream of her bosom. I know it was the 80s (and all)…but that shit’d still freak out the hardiest soul.
It’s also deeply icky to think of the lads in the Eagle office poring over the submissions and deciding who’s in (phwoarr!!) and who’s out (uuggh!!).
WHERE did the photo come from?
Perhaps it was a “thoughtograph” (like Ted Serios used to make). An idealised image of Miss Skinner thought into existence by the fevered imaginations of Meldrum & Locke. That’s her as they saw her.
Look at the notes all down the side there. This is such a miasma of greed and lust I’m suprised Eagle got past the censor.
It’s as brazen as it gets. Sure the page is even called “The Money Page” fer gawd’s sake! They should have just substituted “Shot” for “Page” and been done with it.
I was a fairly constant reader of ‘Eagle’ then but cannot remember this suspect little corner of it. It is probably indicative of my development at that point in time that most of my attention was focused on Doomlord and the regrettably impossible logistics of vaporising the unworthy in rural Ireland. All the same, I am grateful for its resurrection. Was the comic still committed to the photostory format at the time of its exploitation of female public servants?
In any case, I refuse to ascribe any grubby motives to the piece. Surely it is simply a platonic manifestation of amour courtois in a form entirely appropriate to Thatcher’s Britain?
It sure was. Glamorous Teacher was up and running very soon after launch and proved surprisingly (worryingly) resilient. Ran for quite some time. Think the come-hithery photos were replaced by come-hithery sketches at one point. Not sure it that’s more or less creepy.
Have just finished piece on the self same Noxian anti-hero. Will let you know when it hits the printed page.
Great news. Looking forward to the article on Doomlord. Was both edified and entertained by your recent piece on S/F-themed stories in British girls’ comics, so my expectations are high.
It is an awful pity that Mr. Cavanagh’s drawing has not survived. This might be a request too far, but do you know where one might view an image of Comrade Bronski on the web? Have been unsuccessful in locating one so far and I can’t recall the gentleman in question. The best that my stunted imagination can muster is picturing Jimmy Somerville in the William Hurt role in the film of ‘Gorky Park’.
I might be able to hook you up with one. Will have a quick look see.
Here you go (click to enlarge). Colour section of cover image clearly by Carlos Ezquera.
Bronski artist “M. Dorey” has such a Joe Sacco-like touch to his work that I was almost convinced it was a Sacco alias. The panel where Bronski fires the gun (snarling) is pure Sacco.
Ezquera did the first run of that strip as far as I remember. That’s from ’87 above, I think my drawing was published after the first series had ended. God, I was around 12!
Much appreciated folks. I now know I couldn’t remember him because I had never actually read the strip. I feel like a right dilettante.
P.S. he looks more like Rupert Everett than Jimmy Somerville on the cover, which doesn’t say much for my powers of thoughtography either.
Ta da! Allan, bow down before me. Everyone else, behold a young talent expressing itself and grabbing £3 (which, I presume, financed the building of the turf shed – in a moment of dark irony). It’s from Monday 20th June, 1987 (No. 274).
OH MY GAWD. I am in awe. I really am. That’s fantastic. Thanks Fústar.
And no, the turf shed predated me by quite a few years!
Mr. Cavanagh, it is a testament to your powers – a rendering more convincingly psychopathic than that of the petulant fop with the McDonalds’ logo fringe sulking from the cover above.
Mr. Fustar,with the advent of ‘Fustar’ll Fix It’,a testament to your powers also.
Fústar’ll Fix It. Make it so.
I was always very jealous of my friend Mike, who got not just one, but TWO pictures published in Eagle – one of Smith 70 from ‘Charley’s War’, the other of Detective Zed.
Reckon that’s a fine rendition of Bronski, Allan – I was just thinking of CB today after catching Red Heat on TV last night… Perhaps Walter Hill was inspired by it!
As for Mike Dorey, he’s had a long career in British comics – you may recall his smudgy inkwork on ‘Victor Drago’ in Tornado, ‘Kampfgruppe Falken’ and ‘Cadman’ in Warlord, ‘Hellman’ in Action etc…
Ah, Cadman the Front Line Coward! Used to love that. Even though the template was pretty limited. Only so many times you can farcically arrange matters for strip to end with “Cadman, you’ve done it again! Have another medal for outstanding gallantry”. Was it a savage deconstruction of traditional (class-based) notions of heroism, or just a weekly pop at the uselessness of the upper-crust? I need to know.