The Museum of Cultural Waste: Unidentifiable Woollen Yoke

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Every so often, on charity shop hunts, one comes across a…thing that makes it hard to resist reaching for the acronym "WTF". Today was one such occasion. Bought, for 50 cents, in the St. Vincent de Paul outlet on Thomas St., Limerick was…this.

Here's a close-up…

Goggle-eyed, orange mouth askew, blonde locks shooting off at wild angles – it was obviously hand-made, by someone moved by a strange need to create this. My first thought was that it was some sort of crude/offensive take on a Golliwogg. Or some sort of crude/offensive spin on a Rastafarian/Jamaican stereotype. But the more I look, the more boggled my mind becomes.

Its colourful/ragged hot pants cling upsettlingly tightly to its woollen bum cheeks.

And, um, they're removable…

As is the mega-crude, falling-to-bits, "Aran Jumper" thing it's wearing. Throw in a little (non-removable) beanie hat and we're left with a knitted melange that is hurting my brain.

Still. Bargain.

May 11, 2012

5 responses to The Museum of Cultural Waste: Unidentifiable Woollen Yoke

  1. Jo said:

    Hang on a minute, wait there: this looks as if a CHILD might have knitted it. Wouldn’t that address the WTF? Be kind, be kind.

  2. fústar said:

    Be kind to who? Some notional child? It’s hard enough trying to be kind to *actual* people, without worrying about ones who may or may not exist.

  3. Nam Citsale said:

    Dear Jesus. I agree with Jo to a degree, but we must consider that the creator of The Yoke, whatever their age, also saw fit to exile it to a charity shop, and, i suspect, with good reason. No Dreadful Thoughts story has ever terrified me with the abominable efficacy of The Yoke. In fact, I’d make a duvet out of one of Goya’s Black Paintings before i’d let The Yoke into the house. Each time i’m just about to nod off, i fancy i hear the muted rasp of coarse wool against the skirting boards and i wake up yodelling with fear. Thanks a bunch, Mr. Fustar.

  4. Ms Avery said:

    The removable shorts are the creepiest part. Not that there are any good parts, either.

    (As a knitter, I’ve always thought that knitting stuffed toys like this looked intimidatingly hard. No more. Nothing I could produce would be as bad as this.)

  5. fústar said:

    As I peeled them off I was actually worried what anatomically correct woolly bits I might find.

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