The Campaign Poster Debaffler: 4 – The Watery Adventures of Toiréasa Ferris (Sinn Féin)

Early yesterday morning – as the wife the daughter, and the husband/father (i.e. myself) strode (and rolled) towards the Milk Market – we chanced upon the Sinn Féin Marine Assault Unit, out on maneuvers.

Their movements were simultaneously furtive and frantic – erratic rowing strokes coupled with hurried anchor-dumping (said movements not done justice by the below image).

As quickly as they arrived, they were gone – leaving this monument to clandestine effort in their wake.

Now while Toiréasa Ferris‘ head & SF’s logo may look impressively large and striking in the above photo, it should be noted that a) this is a close crop of a shot taken at maximum zoom, and, b) the Shannon is a broad and majestic river. From the banks, or a bridge, the naked human eye would struggle to gather much more than a vague impression. Of a giant-headed young woman. Trapped on a small boat.

On to the debaffling. Toiréasa is, we’re told, part of “A New Generation”. A generation that eschews the corned-beef-faced fugliness of traditional Irish politicking and replaces it with relative-attractiveness. A generation that, let’s face it, we’re being subtly encouraged to want to ride. If Adams & McGuinness are an “Old Generation”(original series) Kirk & Spock, then Toiréasa is a new/next generation…er…Deanna Troi? Or maybe not. I mean Kirk was pretty hot, and then there’s the whole slash fiction thing so…um…

Anyway, location is an important factor here. For if unobtainableness is a significant element of seductive allure then you’d have to consider the above a beguiling success. After all, you’d struggle to make yourself more unobtainable than parking yourself in the middle of a river. Sinn Féin? Masters & mistresses of pop-sexual psychology.

Though unlikely to perform as impressively in the Limerick Leader‘s (controversial) “Candidates I’d Like to Bang” poll – Maurice Quinlivan (like other local SF hopefuls) still has explosive imagery in his arsenal.

First there’s the shiny, eye-catching gold “1″ – a traditional visual that manages to both rewrite the tricolour’s (troublesome orange) symbolism and make the candidate seem that extra bit special. Plain ol’ black and white “1s” are hardly likely to sway a bling-obsessed youth (or so the Irish Daily Mail would probably tell me).

Then there’s the “cut out and keep” dotted line (Sinn Féin vouchers! Collect 100 for a Wolfe Tones lunch box!) and the slightly puzzling “fast forward” icon.

All at sea or, or rocketing (at a trillion miles an hour) toward a bright, golden future? You decide.